Harry James Potter

[Harry Potter]

* _{Journal design by sadwonderland on deviantArt}

[Harry Potter]

01 SEPTEMBER 2005 - Thursday

[/b][/size]o for some reason, mum thinks I should start keeping a journal. Something about it being all the rage in her day, and back in fashion now. Good for adolescents to gather their thoughts, look inside of themselves, et cetera. I think she's mistaking me for Ariana or something. Teenaged girls keep diairies, not teenaged boys. Actually, I wonder if Ariana's got one...

I don't really see the point, anyway. I don't really have that many secrets to share, and even if I did, I'm not going to bloody well write them down when I live with sneaky Slytherin roommates. What am I, stupid ? Paranoid, maybe. A little bit. But that's what mokeskin pouches are for. Merlin bless whoever invented these.

You know, I don't think I was nearly this mistrusting as a kid. Anyone who's got a brat for a sister like Ariana's going to be inherently edgy, but I don't remember having to watch my words or watch my step or anything like that. Kids are just... kids. You talk, you fight, you get over it, you hang out again. But Slytherins hold grudges for-ever. I wonder if he remembers the hair thing ? Nah, probably not. What were we, four, five, six ? Then again, grudges.

Putting this away now before Hermione finds it, or she'll ask too many questions. I didn't see her on the platform before we boarded, but I might have missed her behind whatever tome she's assimilating with now. Honestly, she amazes me. I don't know how purebloods can think they're so superior when they're in school with a walking brain like her.

H.[/ul]

[Harry Potter]

02 SEPTEMBER 2005 - Friday

[/b][/size]o there went the first day of lessons. The professors seem the same as they were in previous years, and the students just as mindless, so there's not much to report. Why am I doing this again? I don't know what mum expects it to do for me, really.

Well, I guess there is one thing... not that it really bears mentioning, and I don't really care, and I'll probably be hexed six ways from Sunday if this gets out, but... something is wrong with Malfoy. He looked thinner than I'm used to today, and quieter. He was as cross as he always is around me, but I don't know... I saw him standing alone in the corridor and he looked upset. Worried or nervous or something. It's not really my place to worry about, but, well, I am human... there's only so much you can live with someone for five years and not be at least a little bit concerned. He did confirm that something family-related is going on - I know, I know, what was I thinking to even ask? - but family is an off-limit topic for multiple reasons so it didn't feel right to press further.

There isn't really anything I can do about it at this point anyway, aside from offering to listen if he ever needs to vent. I'm surprised talking to him after dinner went as well as it did, once the prat stopped walking away. Granted, he probably didn't know I was watching him the first two times so I can't really blame him. Even if he did, we don't exactly have a positive history... I don't know. I should let it go. I should. But something's wrong, and I can't just ignore it.

H.[/size][/ul]

[Harry Potter]

03 SEPTEMBER 2005 - Saturday

[/b][/size] have been back at Hogwarts for one day of lessons and I'm already grateful it's the weekend.

It's not that it's difficult, really. I mean, yeah, the lessons take work - reading, writing, research - and I will never be able to brew the Draught of Peace for the O.W.L.s - but I've got 'Mione on my side to help with that stuff. It's our thing. I help her have more confidence in DADA and make her unwind, have some fun, and she makes me study. It works, we both benefit, all is fine. But it's everything else about school...

Basically, I just don't like being back in the dungeons. It's all right. The place is gorgeous, the rooms are comfortable, the food's great. I've got a few friends even within Slytherin. But in general... I hate the fakeness in here. I know I've gotten more tense and wary over the years just from being surrounded by people who are constantly posing as junior politicians. I miss being around loud, energetic, enthusiastic, happy crowds like the Weasleys. I just hope that by the time I graduate, Slytherin won't have changed me too much.

Also, Dratini is driving me out of my mind. After seeing him vulnerable just the once, I can't get him out of my head. I'm starting to think I should ask Psyduck to check me into St. Mungo's for Mental Maladies. It's been one day and I'm worried...

Sod it. This stupid diary is just making me overanalyse things. I'm going to put it away for a few days and go flying. When I'm flying, I don't worry about anything. It's just me and the broom and the open skies, and for the first time in five years, I feel perfect.

Why do I feel like there's something I'm forgetting to do ?

H.[/ul]

[Harry Potter]

16 SEPTEMBER 2005 - Friday

[/b][/size]see, mum ? Two weeks go by without me even remembering this journal exists, and when I pick it up again, I don't really have anything to say. I still don't see the point of it. But I did promise to try, so try I will. Even if I think it's stupid. Really, if I wanted to sort any deep, serious thoughts, I wouldn't do it in an incriminating written journal in the the dungeons, talking at myself. Even if the writing is charmed invisible without the passcode, and even if it's in a mokeskin pouch, Slytherins are sneaky, so who knows? Anyway, talking to myself is still pretty pointless. All I'll do is babble myself in circles like I'm doing now. I didn't actually know I was capable of writing this many words about absolutely nothing, so I suppose that's... impressively inane. If I ever actually wanted reason and answers, I'd talk to Psyduck or Mightyena.

So after re-reading whatever nonsense I wrote in the last entry, I came to the abrupt realization that the thing I'd forgotten? Yeah, that was Psyduck's birthday. At least it's not past yet, but it is this coming Monday. Thank Merlin this is a Hogsmeade weekend so I can go look for something fun for her. Or, well, embarrassing for her but fun for me. I won't have terribly long, though - I'm set to meet with Remus - but I'm sure he won't mind if I have to duck out early to keep hunting.

Nothing new to report in regards to Dratini or classes. I'm in the swing of things again. It's funny how quickly boarding school becomes routine again after being with mum and dad for three months... I remember thinking as a first year that I'd never get used to being away from home and having lessons all the time. Now, being here nine months out of the year, it sort of is home...

H.[/ul]